How Did That Interview at the Daily Squib Go?

LONDON - England - Want to work for a prestigious satirical newspaper? Well you better answer the bloody questions correctly then. Here are some interview tips.

Yes, we’re interviewing at the moment, and the queues to become a Squib writer or contributor go round the block.

The interviewing panel asks the candidates very important questions, not only about themselves but about topics that are completely unrelated to anything they may be thinking about.

Here’s a sample question or two if you wish to be accepted into the Squib bunker, have unlimited expenses and a very large waste paper bin next to your desk.

Interview Question Samples

  1. You wake up..?
  2. There is a room, a rectangular box, its coordinates are 3,1,2 3,4,2 1,4,5 1,1,5 3,1,5 1,1,2 3,4,5. There is a spider on the ceiling at coordinate x and a fly at coordinate y, calculate the shortest distance the spider can travel to reach the fly. The spider cannot fly or swing, it can only walk on surfaces.

We even filmed our star performer, a certain James Nesbit from Belfast, who was immediately interned into the hallowed halls of the Daily Squib without even answering a single question coherently.