17.7 C
London
Friday, December 6, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldComrade Corbyn Reveals New Cabinet

Comrade Corbyn Reveals New Cabinet

RUNCORN - England - Comrade Corbyn has unveiled what he called a "unifying" new shadow cabinet, naming his Bolshevik ally Scotch McScotch as shadow chancellor.

After much dilly dallying, Comrade Corbyn has finally revealed his cabinet for government. In the early hours of the morning, he was driven from his £900,000 7-bedroom dacha to a secret location where the line up of his new cabinet was announced to much cheer.

Heading the list will be Commissar Scotch McScotch, a man who hates the English so much he has them regularly flogged in front of him during his breakfast of a single piece of oatmeal splashed with some Scotch. Commissar McScotch will be in charge of the economy, something he detests even more than the fucking English.

Commissar Engle will be in charge of rationing and queueing. It will be her job to make sure that food queues do not get shorter than a hundred citizens a time. She will also ensure that state run shops have permanently empty shelves and bread has the right amount of rat droppings embedded in each loaf.

Anti-royal Commissar Vladimir Potemkin will be in charge of dismantling the British royal family. He will first start by exposing Kate Middleton as a commoner, which he says will be a big blow for the pure blue blood family of Windsors. Buckingham Palace will be torn down and a refugee processing camp will be put in its place. The royals will be paraded through the streets before being taken to Red Square (previously Trafalgar) and hanged.

Head of the reformed Stasi, a post formerly held by Kommandant Jacqui Smith, the new appointee has been announced, and he is only known as Kommandant Zersetzung. He will be in charge of all Administration protocols including garbage disposal and analysis for the Ministry of Truth. All surveillance levels for the reformed Stasi will stay the same as they are now and there is no need to do anything more.

The rest of the inner party cabinet will be announced at a later date as needed.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!