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Mugabe Surprised to Win Election Again

HARARE - Zimbabwe - Robert Mugabe has been taken aback at the vote tally after a close election contest after being pleasantly surprised to have won by such a massive landslide.

Robert Mugabe has been holding celebrations after his landslide win for the election run-off in Zimbabwe.

The election was hard fought between the two campaigning candidates: Robert Mugabe and Robert Mugabe.

Luckily for Robert Mugabe, he won this time and said this about his astounding win: “After a hard fought democratic election, I am happy to announce that I have won again. This was a close call because the other candidate, Robert Mugabe, nearly pipped me at the post.”

Mr. Mugabe received a congratulatory phone call from unelected British PM Gordon Brown yesterday on the eve of his spectacular win.

Next week there will be a swearing-in ceremony — where everyone swears at Robert Mugabe under their breath and wishes on a deadly bolt of lightning.

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  1. Time to get the voodoo goin’, my bruthas! All we need are some chicken feathers and blood and we can send this evil mofo into the nether regions of zombieland.

  2. The election committee announced that Mr. Mugabe received 110% votes, whereas his opponent Mr. Mugabe received 108% votes.

    The election committee said that 110% votes for the winning Mr. Mugabe and 108% votes for the losing Mr. Mugabe were both perfectly understandable. The committee said that the 2% difference was probably due to errors in vote counting, but that it was of no practical consequence.

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