17.7 C
London
Wednesday, December 4, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldChina Explosion Season Begins in Earnest

China Explosion Season Begins in Earnest

SHANDONG - China - Explosion season is upon us as Chinese cities explode. First we had Tianjin and now Shandong, but will it stop there, maybe not?

“Someone is blowing these chemical factories up, we don’t know who, but we still have not found any clues in the toxic rubble,” Xiang Xing Ping, a Chinese official told local media outlets on Saturday.

Anyone who is travelling to China needs to stay in an area away from the numerous chemical plants implanted within residential areas and the countryside.

“We booked a two week stay in the lovely polluted city of Jianjing, South East of Guangdong. There are several chemical plants right next to the hotel so we would not only get the full force of the blast and chemicals, but some great video material for YouTube,” Jane Allinson, from Palm Beach told CNN.

Chinese organ harvesting plants are also suffering as the samples are now too polluted to sell to rich Westerners, I mean who wants a liver that has been sautéed over a vat of explosive cyanide?

Meanwhile the Chinese Communist hierarchy are baffled as to who is causing these massive explosions all over the place, what with the Chinese stock market tanking daily, and cities blowing up spewing deadly poisonous gases everywhere, it’s just another day in China where the explosions are big and your lungs fill up with cancer causing chemicals with each breath.

“Come to China for holiday, we blow you the shit up and you get tumour in your butt hole,” a poster advertising the wonders of China said in the Shanghai metro.

Shandong 21 August 2015

Tianjin 12 August 2015

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

  1. The chins don’t know this but weapons from space can blow these chemical factories up. All it takes is a laser and a little spark and ka boom! Some poerful lasers are not detectable but we know they’ve been developed. Just thinking doesnt even need to be lanched from space lets say a stealth fighter invisible to radar could fly near stratosphere to ignite these factories. The dumb chins would not know what hit them.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWK4rKYpYcY

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!