Pandemonium and chaos was brought forth this week when democratic presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton made herself cry again after multiple losses to Obama.
As she stepped onto the podium her supporters realised she was going to start crying again and that is when all hell broke loose. The election security detail tried to evacuate the area as quickly as they could, but the sheer panic was overwhelming.
“Hillary started to cry quite suddenly, and that’s when everyone started to stampede. We know about her crocodile tears,” a hapless Clinton supporter told the Daily Squib.
Hilary Clinton’s tears have such a high acid ph value that they can burn through steel and pretty much any man made material. Some scientists have tried unsuccessfully to analyse the tears, but have not been able to because they burn through all the equipment.
steel election podium like a knife through butter
“Hillary’s tears are like the blood of the aliens from the movie ‘Aliens’ starring Sigourney Weaver. That stuff burns through anything and never stops. We have to be very careful when she flies or is on a boat so as not to make her cry,” one of her campaign managers who recently quit told us.
Hillary Clinton has never been filmed blinking her eyes, so how she conjures up realistic looking tears and what looks to be some kind of emotion is a mystery to many political watchers.
Some commentators even go so far as to suggest that Hillary’s tears are a cynical ploy to influence voters. Surely not?
If anyone has any footage of Hillary Clinton blinking please phone the Daily Squib offices immediately for a substantial cash reward – CALL 0891- CROCO