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Sunday, May 9, 2021
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Godfrey Bloom to Retire to Bongo Bongo Land

BONGO BONGO - Land - Controversial former Yorkshire MEP Godfrey Bloom has quit the UKIP party and also the UK to follow his destiny and retire in Bongo Bongo Land.

Revealed: Godfrey Bloom Secret Tory Plant into UKIP

LONDON - England - After ruining the UKIP conference with some slut talk, Godfrey Bloom, a comedic genius, was seen whacking a Channel 4 reporter with a brochure.

Death By Bongo Bongo

BONGO BONGO - Yorkshire - Sadly we have some bad news for UKIP voters today as one of their Member's of the European Parliament was presumed eaten by cannibals in the Yorkshire Dales sometime yesterday.

Cammo Running Scared Back to Merkel

LONDON - England - Number10 Downing Street was strangely quiet yesterday evening as the prime minister slunk back to his expensive fitted kitchen.

UKIP Leader in Danger of Ending Up in Belgian Dungeon

BRUSSELS - Belgium - Britain's UK Independence Party MEP, Nigel Farage was today in hiding after an outburst he made to the unelected EU's president did not go down very well.

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