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TEL AVIV - Israel - Madonna has spectacularly fired her assistant who misspelled Obama's name on her back during an impromptu performance in the Israeli city.
ISTANBUL - Turkey - An after concert party for pop starlet Madonna went terribly wrong on Sunday when one of her nipple's popped off into a man's cocktail at a local bar witnesses say.
STRASBOURG - France - Pop hack, Madonna, who is desperate to adopt someone or something, is set to adopt the idiot Italian prime minister, Silvio Berlusconi.
LILONGWE - Malawi - Jilted adoptee, Madonna has vowed to buy the whole country of Malawi after a judge ruled her attempt at adopting a three year old girl illegal.
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