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HEAVEN - The Clouds - God is getting a little concerned with the rate of souls being presented to him, and wants the curve flattened to give more cloud space.
BETHLEHEM - Palestine - Bible experts who adhere to #MeToo are saying that God had sex with Mary without her consent and raped her to birth Jesus.
OXFORD - England - He is regarded as the most famous entity in the universe but last night God admitted he could not be sure that Professor Richard Dawkins does not exist.
WASHINGTON DC - USA - George W Bush on a Heathrow-bound presidential flight had to be dragged from his presidential chair and handcuffed after suffering an apparent mental breakdown in mid-air, it emerged yesterday.