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Monday, December 6, 2021
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Faulty French Implant Causing Distress

PARIS - France - Nicolas Sarkozy, the French president, has been called a 'faulty implant' by many in Europe and Britain, thus warranting an immediate removal.

British Gastronomy Stays AAA When French Food Now AA

LONDON - England - The French were spitting mad yesterday when their entire gourmet cuisine was downgraded to AA from a previous high of AAA, by the International Gastronomy Institute in Lyons, France.

France First Lady Kept Up All Night By Crying Baby

PARIS - France - Carla Bruni is said to be distraught after being kept up all night by the incessant crying from a little baby.

The French Surrender Easily But Will the British?

PARIS - France - Anyone who walks through the beautiful leafy boulevards of Paris will realise one thing -- they are perfectly intact. Not one single bomb was dropped on the French capital during World War II, for a very good reason, the French simply surrendered to Hitler's Nazis without a fight, the same can be said today in the EU.

Sarko Tells Cammo to Back Off

BRUSSELS - Belgium - In a remarkable war of words that had EU technocrats bracing for trouble, French prime minister, Nicolas Sarkozy, reduced the British PM, Cameron, to tears after telling him to back away from denigrating the euro and even tried to bar him from important EU meetings.

Carla Bruni Pregnant Who’s the Father?

PARIS - France - The search is on across the country for the father of Bruni's child, the French press and media are reporting.

Sarkozy Cursed by Gypsies

PARIS - France - President Nicolas Sarkozy was today attending a special service at a synagogue to try and reverse the gypsy curse put on his head last week.

How Muslim Women in France are Skirting Around Niqab Ban

MARSEILLES - France - After the French authorities banned the niqab for all Muslim women in the country, many Islamic women are finding novel ways around the ban.

Sarkozy to Join Travelling Circus

PARIS - France - After a humiliating defeat in regional elections, Nicolas Sarkozy has decided that politics is not for him and has joined a travelling circus troupe as a midget.

McDonald's Restaurants to Open at the Louvre

PARIS - France - In a move that may put many satirists out of a job, the world famous seat of art, the Louvre is to install McDonalds fast food stores on its premises.

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