Scientists have successfully formed a hybrid human-monkey creature – with the experiment taking place in China to avoid “legal issues”.
Researchers led by scientist Mao-Mao Espinoza spliced together the genes to grow a monkey with human cells.
“The first thing he fucking did after being born is run over to a little red book in the corner of the room and began to calmly order the death of millions of landlords, jabbering on about something called the Great Leap Forward,” an alarmed Espinoza revealed.
The creature has now been given its own living quarters replete with communist furnishings and books about collectivism to keep it quiet.
“We are doing the experiments with monkeys in China because, in principle, they cannot be done [in Spain]” Rangoo Portomento, Project collaborator revealed hailing the experiment a “great success”.
The team have not yet published their findings, but confirmed the hybrid to EL PAIS.
“We are now trying not only to move forward and continue experimenting with human cells and rodent and pig cells, but also with non-human primates,” Espinoza said.
The scientist, from Spain, was responsible for creating the first human pig hybrid in 2017 called affectionately ‘Rosie’ after the American celebrity, O’Donnell.