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Sunday, April 14, 2024
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HomeHealthMan Gets Obola in USA

Man Gets Obola in USA

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - The patient, who came from Africa according to health officials, has been in isolation at the White House Oval room since at least 2008.

 

CDC officials said the man did not enter the country with any papers, identification or even a social security number.

“This man is of no fixed abode and may have infected millions with Obola. It’s a disease that has no known cure, and is infectious to Democrats and zombies alike,” a senior CDC official revealed Monday.

The announcement comes only days after a top German virologist revealed that five million people would die in Obola-infected nations within Africa not including those who travel to the USA to infect others through the open borders.

Speaking on Fox news, Bill O’Reilly said: “I nearly got Obola, but good thing I’m a Republican. Last I heard the whole MSBNC crew have contracted Obola and ain’t that a crying shame.”

Just this week, the CDC began advising funeral homes on how to handle the remains of Obola victims while simultaneously attempting to downplay the threat.

The U.S. State Department ordered 160,000 Hazmat suits, dark eye shades, ear muffs, specifically for Obola earlier this month.

“If you see Obola on the TV or internets, please switch off immediately, either that get to your nearest Obolacare center for quarantine,” Dr. Ralph Greenbaum, told ABC news.

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6 COMMENTS

  1. I made a call on my Obolaphone the other day they said I needs to get to a doctor cuz I gots Obola?? Go figure.

    • son seems like you need some Obolacare for that Obola you got. Make sure you spend those Obolastamps before you get to hopital.

  2. the symptoms are very strange. while the appetite and thirst remain normal, it can only be satiated with items bought by food stamps; there is a noticeable confusion of facts and a forgetfulness of unfulfilled promises; and an urge to redistribute wealth which resembles some sort of kleptomania.

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