NHS Data: Got Drunk Ended Up in A&E When You Were 18 Prepare to Lose Your Job

LONDON - England - Prepare to lose your jobs, your life insurance and be bombarded by marketers as the government sells your private medical records to whoever wants them.

The era of medical privacy is finally over in the UK as all private patients’ NHS data will be released in a massive data free for all. This means insurance companies, employers and anyone else who wants to know about your ailments can use the data about you to do as they please.

“It’s great, I’ve had my life insurance cancelled, my employer fired me and now I’ve got tonnes of marketers after me about my illness. Thank you Cameron. Let’s have it for doctor patient confidentiality, three cheers, hip hip!” a patient who used to have some privacy told Sky news.

As for life’s transgressions, people will be punished for their youthful exuberance as future employers will balk at employing those who may have ended up in A&E one time too many, or utilised any form of pharmaceutical help to get by in life.

“We’re simply telling the world about your medical history. There is nothing to fear here when we distribute all of your NHS data. If you have nothing to hide there is no need to worry” a government official told the BBC.