NHS Doctors to be Present During Full Body Airport Scans

LONDON - England - Full body scanners at airports to double as medical scans, an NHS spokesman said on Thursday.

“Not only are we going to check every passenger for hidden weapons and the size of their private parts, but we will also check passengers for anomalies inside their bodies. This can only benefit the passengers, for example if we see a tumour in your rectum or lungs, we will tell you before you get on the flight about it,” Dr McKaskill told the Times.

The cash strapped NHS says that the new airport full body scanners could save the health service millions and decrease waiting times.

“If you need an x-ray on the NHS, or an MRI body scan, the waiting list can sometimes be weeks or months. The airport full body scanners will save us a lot of money on everyone who travels plus decrease waiting times for patients,” an NHS spokesman said.