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HomeEntertainmentEntire One Direction Boy Band Eaten By Sharks in Florida

Entire One Direction Boy Band Eaten By Sharks in Florida

FLORIDA - USA - Boy band, One Direction were fatally attacked by sharks on Miami's West Beach on Monday, local news stations were reporting yesterday.

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“The only direction One Direction went today was down the gullets of a some Great White sharks,” Ernest B. Cecilmayer, chief lifeguard at Miami’s West Beach told Fox news.

The feeding frenzy started at 3 pm Monday on Miami’s West beach. The boy band were taking time off from one of their mime shows and went for a swim.

“We saw them go further out into the ocean, and then there was some serious splashing going on. One minute they were there with their perfectly coiffed poncey haircuts, and the next there was just red everywhere. I just started cheering right there and then and punching the air in delight at the demise of the most nauseating irritating bunch of shisters foisted on what’s left of the music biz. If I could kiss those sharks I would, I wanted to shake their fins, to hug them for cleansing the world of crap. One Direction went down to hell in one fell swoop, they didn’t take the elevator but they took the water slide down there via a shark’s stomach. I sincerely hope those poor sharks don’t get a bad case of indigestion,” Cuthbert Eagleboise, a witness and music lover at the beach recounted.

A spokesman from One Direction’s record label, Syco Records, said they were very sad about the news and would immediately be bringing out a Greatest Hits record to celebrate their spectacular career in the pop world.

Marine Biologist at Florida Sea World, Laura Kiltner, said: “The splashing from the boy band must have attracted the sharks. We estimate there were three or four large Great Whites in the vicinity who must have been hungry because the feeding frenzy lasted for all of two minutes. Sharks rarely attack humans but in this case I think they saw One Direction and thought they might enjoy a little snack.”

The unfortunate drawback of the wonderful demise of the entire One Direction boy band is that there may be a few weeks of tributes on the airwaves, but thankfully they will be forever forgotten after that.

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22 COMMENTS

  1. I am so sad that they were taken so early by those horrible sharks. Why didn't the coast guard do something?

  2. A MESSIGE FROM THE BEST FANS IN THE WORLD WE LUV YA ONE DIRECTON !!! RIP I AM SO SAD RYTE NOW!!

  3. I just read this on a forum is it true??? o please i hop their alive still i woz gonna see a concert i luv their music. liam is so gorges too

  4. WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?! OMG!! I CANT BELEIVE IT ! NO WAY ! OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! PLS COME BACK ONE DIRECTION PLS DONT DIE!

  5. Are they really DEAD???!!! I feel bad for all of THE guys wot a horribal way to go! Im listening to 1D now n CRYING!!! This SAD news is TERRIBLEe! wHY DIDJA HAVE TO GO TO aMERICA 1d??.:( 1D rip LOVE UUUUUUUU. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

  6. Oh my babies r ded r they!!!!! This is a big lie please tell us it aint real? U shuld b ashemed of yourselfes. i cant bleve it !! :((999

    ONE DIRECTION 4 EVA

  7. i reckon one of them musta survived the attack it is too much 4 me i missed school yesterday 🙁 love 1Direction i think they shld investigat how it went wrong why dont they catch the sdharks wot about other people? stupid americans are all stupid

  8. you all know this is a SICK AND TWISTED JOKE, right? THERE ALIVE I KNO IT I SO THEM ON THE TV They are all still well and alive….jsyk. probably sucks to be one of the ones that believed it right now…..hahaha XD directioner for life♥♥

  9. wat the fuck pls say it aint so i luv u boys im crying right now typin this i needed to call ur record compasny i tried to call simon the recepshinist said he wasnt there i cried more. we need to send a serch party/

  10. this the most awful thing I have ever read im all my life…why didn't anyone help them? they must have been so scared poor dears…. :-(((((

    such a sad worle we live in

  11. oh my god ohhhh wot??!?!?. i luv Lou and liam please say their okay ? they were only 5 young boys living their dream and doing the best they can. y did they have get eaten by sharks?

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