The new Grand Theft Tesco game will star the daring chef pilfering a bit of cheddar and a cheap bit of plonk from a Tesco store.
“That’s pretty much the premise of the whole game, he hijacks a few Tesco baskets, negotiates around some crazed Tesco security men, then tries to run out of the door without getting caught,” games developer, Roquefort Star Games told PS3 Today magazine.
‘Every little helps!’ as they say, and when you shove a bit of brie into your chef trousers whilst dodging a camambert weilding granny or two, you know you’re living in the fast lane.
People will be queuing all of Sunday night around the country for the release of the game first thing on Monday morning.
Game enthusiast, Mitch Warner, 48, said: “I’ve had a sneak peak at the game and just seeing Worral Thompson nicking those cheddars in broad daylight like that, it’s just so f*cking dairy. If I don’t get this game tomorrow, I’m going to have an emmental breakdown!”
Tesco profits were hit on Friday with a 15% drop, and CEO, Ronnie Stilton, blamed “That thieving bastard Worrall Thompson for the amount of cheese he’s pilfered over the years.“
image: grotpig b3ta