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Trump: Immigration Okay – For Some

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“As long as you ain’t a brown skinned Mexican or Arab, or African, I’m okay with immigration. Just check out my beautiful wife who I got from some Eastern European country. Hell, she didn’t even have to sign a single document to come here after I ordered her in the catalogue,” Trump said during his latest SNL monologue.

Trump sure is going places, he’s trumping the rest of the Republican contenders and making in-roads all over the place.

“I love Trump, he’s so funny and kind. What a gentleman,” Donna Neuhart, a woman who was paid to say that by a Mafiosi consigliere attending the show.

Travel News: The Death of Western Tourism a Good Thing

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Tourists are a blight in any country, they cause an ecological and sociological disaster wherever their tainted bloated bodies flop. These leeches do not want to venture out of their safe zones and are not interested in the people of the region only coming for the climate, food and booze.

The Plague of Tourism

Whole coastlines have been infested by tourists for too long, desecrated regions may once again flourish with their much needed absence.

As for the lazy hosts who have previously encouraged the visiting parasites, they can either get off their fat arses and make money through honest hard work or go bankrupt.

No Anarchists Present at Million Mask March

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Real anti-capitalists and anarchists do not own smart phones, do not own a sweat shop made globalist V mask, and do not use globalist created social media to bring attention to their whereabouts or actions, and yet this was the make-up of last night’s Million Mask March rioting in London.

Real anarchists and libertarians espouse an end or severe curtailing of governmental state control, yet the rioters were simply calling for more taxation by government to end austerity, therefore these people are not anarchists but socialists, albeit the violent type of socialist.

Champagne Anarchism

When the true anarchists and nihilists arrive, these socialists will surely know about it.

As for your sweat shop made masks, iphones and your designer jeans and your labelled jackets, you must know one thing and that is you do serve a purpose, and that is to show that your herd mentality champagne anarchism is full of hypocrisy, and you have no understanding of any anarchic principles or doctrines.

We’re Giving Away 200 Flights to Sharm el-Sheikh

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Yes, we’re giving away 200 free flights to Sharm el-Sheikh the premier Egyptian destination.

Relax on the beach, pull a deck chair up next to the pool, feel the cabin pressure drop suddenly as you are sucked out of the plane through a massive hole in the fuselage on its return journey.

All you have to do to win this exciting holiday is answer the question correctly and phone our Sharm Competition hotline immediately.

How Do You Recover From An Aircraft Stall?

  1. Slow the speed right down and pull up.
  2. Decrease the wing angle of attack moderately, smoothly applying maximum allowable power, straighten up.
  3. Put your head between your legs and start praying to Jesus.

To enter the competition for your chance to win a free holiday please call with your answer 08966 567 5758 48589 (Calls charged £32,000 per minute)

Adele New Song Hello Breaking Charts

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Adele has changed somewhat since her last batch of songs but we still have the same melodic tone bumping through the track which was copied from a 1973 song by someone or other.

Adele’s publishing agent, Josh Kronstein said this is normal practice in the music biz these days.

“We go back to the 1970s when there were real artists, then get Adele to change the words slightly copying the chord sequences and melody. We have already made a large sum of money thanks to that artist who we stole the music from. But that’s the music biz now, innit. Anyway, I have a date with some prostitutes so I’m going to get in my Bentley Bentayga, which I just paid $260,000 in cash for, will you kindly fuck off or I’ll gladly run you over.”

Adele’s new song Hello.

Jeb Bush Visits Rope Museum

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“Look at this rope it’s made from er..rope, strands go across each other and not only that you can tie it up into a knot,” Jeb Bush excitedly jabbed at a piece of rope.

“This rope here is quite old rope, it looks about a hundred or so years old.”

“Synthetic rope now let me guess made in 2004.”

“Shredded rope with some burn marks on it, I wonder what happened here, this is fascinating.”

“Ah, and my favourite, a rope fashioned into a noose. Can I try it on? Feels great, I think I’ll step on this bucket, wow I can see you all down there, now for the jump!”

Give a German a Home

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Due to the massive influx of millions of people from other countries, the ‘Give a Home to German’ charity based in Kinshasa, Congo is appealing to global citizens across the world to do up the spare room or shed so that Germans can have a home.

“We are appealing to all kind hearted citizens across the world. There are Germans who are being thrown out of their own homes to make space for others, and these poor Germans are left without a home or homeland. Please make some space for a German. All they need is a few sausages every day and some beer,” Anouska Mangalore, the charity’s refugee coordinator told the BBC.

African American Education Levels Increase Under Obama

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Some say that African Americans are blighted by low IQ, poverty, crime and violence, but that is not the case under a new Obama study which details the vast advances in educating young blacks in America.

Principal Tashaonda Johnson, of the Poonteca High School in Alabama was involved in the study and outlined the great strides in education blacks in America have made, especially under Barack Obama’s tenure as president.

“I akse my class I says to them whut do you wanna be when you grows all up? They say they want EBT, gangbanging and thug life. One of them even said he wanna go to jail cuz it safer than his hood. I tol’ them they gots to git an education first so they can know how to scam the system better, if y’all want the easy life you got to make the right decisions.”

In America if blacks move into a neighbourhood, that’s when all other families sell up and leave, but under Obama’s administration, when blacks move to an area, even the homeless leave, it’s a vast improvement for race relations.

Lashonda McMasters, a student at Cranville High in Ohio is a prime example of African American achievement.

“You gotta know how to play the affirmative action game, study a lil, but as long as you black you get in to the job, and the beauty is they can’t fire you. Thas how Obama did it and all the others. I see them as someone to look up to because they gaming whitey. Us black folk, we clevererer than you think. Ima graduate nex yea ‘n’ you’ll see.”

What about white teachers in the American education system, how are they coping with the enormous strides of their African American students?

“We now have two police officers present in every class and even then it is hard to feel safe. I have been punched, kicked, stabbed and shot, but I still try to teach these kids their ABCs,” English teacher, Don Mancuso at Ghettolaunder High School in the Bronx, New York revealed in the study.

Cameron: “I Do Not Have a Stiff Upper Lip”

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Many great leaders have fought for their country and David Cameron is the opposite, he is willingly selling his country in an act of supreme cowardice and traitorous nonchalance.

Quoting Alfred, Lord Tennyson’s The Charge of the Light Brigade as an illustration.

Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

How about Sir Winston Churchill who defended these islands with a resolute determination and dedication.

We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.

One must also not forget Margaret Thatcher, who gave Jacques Delors of the EU a firm kicking in 1988 during the Bruges speech where she famously remarked.

No. No. No!

It is to this end, that history will look upon David Cameron as a weak appeasing traitor to his own country, a vacillating duplicitous quisling, willing to sell his own country to the dogs, to flood it and murder its identity and consign it and its people to be engulfed by the European Union leaving it defenceless to its enemies.

Here is a quote from Neville Chamberlain just before World War II, which will suit David Cameron very well.

I have returned from Germany with peace for our time.

There is no going back, once Britain is given away that’s it, there will be no escape, freedom will be curtailed further as is customary with the totalitarian tip toe and ever closer union within the soviet EU construct eventually killing Britain off once and for all.

Self Driving Dukes of Hazzard Car Tears Up Google Parking Lot

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“I get a tick, like my right arm raises up every few seconds, and this can be dangerous especially if there are people nearby or I’m peeing in a urinal, or eating a chocolate gateaux in a diner. Unless I see my project through or I have an amazing idea I gotta do it or the tick takes over. I was in the lab and I told the supervisor I have to make a car, they didn’t question it and said go ahead. When I was a kid I was a huge fan of Bo and Luke, and the General Lee of course so that’s what I did. This thing can shoot off bridges, jump canyons and even lose cop cars driven by real cops. It took my three years and when I presented it to the good ol’ boys at Google, you should’ve seen their jaws drop,” Mensch told SciTech magazine.

During the test drive last week, the car performed so well it completely wrecked the whole car park where Googlers like to park their assorted vehicles.

Google representative Josh Mulnick explained to the the press that the incident resulted in the firing of Mensch.

“Here at Google we like innovation and creativity but this was beyond any barriers. The robotic General Lee was zipping around and it even has a speaker with Yee Hah sounds. Not only that it has an offensive non-pc flag on its roof which I can’t even bring myself to mention. This thing is Obama’s and Google’s worst nightmare.”