Terminally Ill Brits Flocking to Florida to Get Shot

FLORIDA – USA – Terminally ill British tourists are flocking to America's gunshot state for one last sun drenched holiday and a few quick bullets in the back of the head for a quick and painless death.

“I’m sick of suffering with my terminal illness so I’m off to Florida to enjoy a few days of sun, sea and bullets,” Mavis Earhart, 67, from London, who has terminal cancer, told the BBC.

With the NHS only offering a slow lingering death and UK stabbings at an all time low, thousands of Brits are now flocking to Florida where getting shot is part of the charm of holidaying there.

The British tourists are an asset to the local economy where they come for a few days and spend their money before being mugged and shot at gunpoint in a ghetto.

“I’m here this year, but I’m not terminally ill. I got shot twice last week but luckily had my bulletproof vest on. We’ve still got another week here so might get shot in the leg or arm. Would be a good souvenir to take back to Blighty,” Roger Eakin, a plumber from North London told the Florida Daily.

The poor Florida ghettos are so bullet riddled that the police rarely venture into them and it’s only the British tourists who are going there.

“You can have multi-million dollar homes and a few yards away there could reside a ghetto where the poor disenfranchised black and Hispanic people are kept. This is the polarity of America, a land that espouses freedom and liberty for all, and yet has some of the worst racial problems and segregation in the world,” a local white Florida state councillor said before being shot to death last week in his car.