Tories Avoiding Election Win

Obesa cantavit

LONDON – England – According to senior Conservatives, Britain is too far gone to even bother winning an election.

“What Labour has done to this country is beyond anything we have ever imagined. They have saddled successive future generations with so much debt that they have in effect bankrupted every Briton 10 times over. We thought we could recover something but not anymore. That’s why Labour will win the next election again and we’re doing our damned best to make everyone vote for them because we don’t want the job anymore,” Tory backbencher, Harvey Fetherington told the Daily Squib.

The mixed messages and garbled announcements about taxation by David Cameron and Kenneth Clarke are clearly designed to put voters off voting for the Conservatives ever again.

There is a general consensus within Tory head office that there is no point in even trying anymore because the country has already gone to the dogs.

“Cameron wants to tax the rich out of existence to try and pay for Gordon Brown’s mess but this will simply serve as a deterrent for any enterprise in the UK. There’s no point in doing business here if there is no incentive. With Gordon Brown at the helm of Labour the Tories were guaranteed a win at the next election but it seems head office does not want it anymore. As for the elder statesman, Kenneth Clarke, well he’s now talking about putting the inheritance tax cut promises on hold. I can see votes flying out of the window with every utterance,” Mr Fetherington added.

It seems that Gordon Brown will finally win an election when he will be voted in by voters who have no choice but to vote for him.

Britain has never got so close to a one-party system and under the Labour regime, Sovietization, is the key goal anyway.

  • Neville Proctor

    We should all vote for Gordon Brown and go and work for the public sector – then all our jobs will be safe!
    Oh; and we will all get index linked pensions for life with early retirement.

    Why wouldn’t we vote for Labour?

    (and we get to watch porn on expenses)