Samsung Watch Also Doubles Up as Microwave, Dishwasher and Washing Machine

It may even fix teeth

SEOUL – S. Korea – The latest tech explosion has reached us and the new Samsung Galaxy Gear watch has so many new functions that you will not be able to do without it.

Speaking from Samsung’s headquarters, Lik Mi Sung, the company’s chief executive revealed some of the amazing functions on the watch: “You’ve got so much on here, press this button and you can clean your dishes, press this button and your underpants are cleaned, press this button and you cook some octopus. We have so many features on this thing we can’t even catalogue it all. Hell, we don’t even know how we made it. Maybe someone came down from the starship Enterprise and gave us the instructions.”

The Daily Squib was sent a Samsung watch to test two weeks ago and already it has become a huge hit in the office.

“I simply press this button here and my desk is as clean as a hound’s tooth. As for my mind, that’s a different matter,” one of our writers said.