"Prepare for takeoff"
NAZKA – Peru – Archaeologists working on parts of a newly uncovered site have found astounding evidence regarding the building of ancient runways within the Incan desert.
“We can reveal for the first time why the Incan civilization saw fit to build runways for aliens to land on nearly 2000 years ago,” professor Murray Walker, told National Geographic.
After extensive digging within the Nazca desert, the team finally found evidence that revealed the true reason the magnificent Incan people built runways.
According to the team, the Incans were so whacked out on cocaine and hallucinogenic drugs that they started to build these massive runways expecting imaginary aliens to visit them.
“Say you’re whacked out on the purest goddamn white powder this earth has ever produced, shit I’d be building runways too. Then, maybe you have a few doses of peyote as well, sheeeit, I’d be seeing aliens flying all over the place, it only makes sense huh?” the professor added.
Since the discovery of the long runways in the mid 70’s the scientific and archaeological teams scouring this barren area have been astounded and intrigued at the significance of the supposed alien spaceship landing strips.
It was not until three months ago when the team discovered ornate cocaine pipes, vials and even a mural depicting some Incans ingesting huge quantities of drugs that the penny finally dropped.
“We found thousands of crack pipes, and murals depicting the Incans snorting mountains of white powder, it could only be one substance. That’s when we made our biggest discovery — a bag of pure uncut coke. It was like discovering Tutankhamun’s tomb, I knew I had discovered the holy grail of Incan history. These guys made Tony Montana look like Mother Theresa. It was truly incredible. Of course I had to test it out for myself, let’s just say I was seeing stars for a few seconds and it was the best shit I ever snorted in my life. The Incas must have been flying after taking this stuff. Truly awesome I tell you,” professor Walker was quoted as saying.
The British Museum has taken a solid interest in the new finding and are hoping to have an exhibition of the Incan cocaine runways sometime next year.