17.7 C
London
Sunday, April 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldBenefit Mother of 11 Who is Given £500,000 Taxpayer House Says People...

Benefit Mother of 11 Who is Given £500,000 Taxpayer House Says People With Jobs Need to Work Harder

TEWKESBURY - England - According to a benefits single mother with eleven children all from different fathers, the £500,000, seven bedroom taxpayer funded house, purpose-built for her, is not enough and she may need a bigger house with larger stables to accommodate her horses.

“People with jobs need to work harder so they can pay for extra stables in our lavish grounds,” Shazza Munter, 34, told the BBC.

People around Britain who break their backs working to pay tax were urged to work harder so that thousands of benefits families can have a better lifestyle.

“Well, there’s the swimming in the morning, then I have brunch, after that I do some intense Nintendo workouts on one of our 45 inch 3D tellys, then I have a bit of high tea, naturally laced with 110% proof vodka. By 3.30 pm I usually ride my horses, and then each child has their own taxi back from the local school. Dinner is served in front of each child’s own television and computer. We have to take a taxpayer funded holiday every three months because it’s hard living like this, innit? We’re off to Tuscany next week,”

The government needs to urgently raise more funds to cater for the thousands of benefits families who have never worked a day in their lives to live a life of enduring luxury.

“It is imperative that working taxpayers work harder so they can pay the bill for these benefit families. Just think, every bead of sweat on your forehead and every penny you make every day is going towards their joy and happiness. Enjoy!” a Minister at the Department of Work and Pensions said yesterday.

“Looks like it’s longer hours and less pay for you’se lot, innit,” Ms Munter said laughing, as she rode into the sunset on her horse.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

2 COMMENTS

  1. She's played the system perfectly. I think she is fully justified to her takings because she bred her children and they earned every penny of their existence. When they all grow up they will all do the same milk the taxpayer for ever penny. It is a time honoured British tradition and these breeders are seasoned thieves.

  2. Dang you Brits are good. I'm coming over soon. Here in the U.S we have to pay for our own houses, health care and everything.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »