17.7 C
London
Friday, March 20, 2026
secret satire society
HomeWorldU.S. Criminals Solidly Endorse Defunding Police

U.S. Criminals Solidly Endorse Defunding Police

CHICAGO - USA - Organised crime syndicates are welcoming the Democrat decision to defund and neuter police forces, as their criminal activities will be easy.

ai —Ensure our latest news headlines always appear at the top of your Google Search by making us a Preferred Source. Click here to activate or add us as a Preferred Source in your Google search settings—

A consortium of criminals have solidly endorsed the defunding of police forces of America, so that their criminal activities can be completed without any resistance or prosecution.

Speaking at the consortium, master safe breaker, Ernie Monkhouse, 43, from Chicago extolled the benefits of the police defunding:

“Usually breaking into a bank’s vault takes 15 minutes minimum before the pigs arrive. Now we can take our time and the Democrats say they will send a social worker and a mental health worker to talk us down. We either shoot them in the fuckin’ head, or tie ’em up in the vault, take the millions and walk out, free as birds!”

Attendees at the consortium included many organised crime syndicates who welcomed the defunding police forces.

“I know I’d rather have a cop with no gun coming at me on a beat up bicycle after our crew brutally robs a cash transit van than a shitload of armed cops in cars. Thank you Democrats, you certainly have our vote,” one gang member quipped.

Looks like it’s going to be open season on all crime ventures in Democrat run states soon, and the crime syndicates can’t wait.

How about defunding the thought police instead?

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.  
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  •  
    ai
    - Advertisment - proton vpn

    NEWS ON THE HOUR

    ai

    MORE NEWS

    THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

    The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

    KAjwhriuw024hvjbed2SORH