British Summer Postponed Until July 2046

LONDON - England - It's grey, it's damp, you're soaking and it is very dark, just another British summer you say, but forecasters are saying the horrible weather could last until July 2046.

“We might get some sporadic sunshine for two or three weeks in 2046, if the forecasters have got their calculations right, otherwise it will be more of the usual I’m afraid,” Jenny Agadoo, a BBC weather spokeswoman said on the One Show.

The Met Office said that from July 2046 conditions are likely to begin slowly drying out but there is no sign that truly summery weather will arrive before that period.

A spokesman said: “Next year is going to be just one massive black cloud, then it will be a big grey cloud with a few spots of sunlight, then there will be storms all the way through and it will only be 2046 when we will have two three days of sunshine, otherwise we’re all going to have to grin and bear it I’m afraid. Stiff upper lip and all that.

“It’s not all doom and gloom though, next week we might see the sun in Southern Britain for twenty six minutes before the rains come again.”