17.7 C
Tuesday, June 18, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldCome to Britain £26,000 For Not Working and Breast Implants on the...

Come to Britain £26,000 For Not Working and Breast Implants on the NHS

LONDON - England - Millions of people in the world are itching to get to the United Kingdom to live a life of leisure and benefits from the state as new figures reveal the extent of the taxpayer funded lifestyle of unemployed Britons.

Britain’s porous borders are easy to get through, and there are little or no checks at the airports and ports as millions of people from across the globe come to what used to be Great Britain, for a lifestyle they could only dream about.

£1 Trillion UK Debt

“In Romania, if you make £300 in a year you are considered rich. I come to England to sell Big Issue magazine, and they give me £26,000 benefits, housing benefits, council tax exemption, breast implants on the NHS, veneered teeth on the NHS and I still make £250 a day selling the Big Issue. I send money back to Romania now and I build big f*cking palace. Next year I build two palace and maybe a brothel. Thank you English suckers,” Olga Latvayev, a Romanian woman from Lewisham told the Evening Standard.

An angry worker from Wimbledon said: “All across Britain, there are millions of families with benefits packages costing taxpayers fifty or sixty thousand pounds per annum minimum, and of course, there is no impetus for these people to work. Why should they? Britain’s problems will only get worse and worse as these leeches and feckless useless-eaters are mollycoddled for the rest of their lives, as others have to work to support them.”

Britain is now the sick man of Europe, an over burdened, over crowded piss hole country where no one wants to work.

“You cannot have a Conservative government in a socialist system. Britain will never break its debt burden without kicking the benefits packages to the floor. How can we as a nation get out of massive debt if the money Britain makes goes to prop up the feckless scum who are bleeding the nation dry? There is no way we will ever get out of debt because we have to pay for these useless excuses for human beings, in fact they contribute nothing to society. What’s the point in working when there are millions of people earning £60,000 in benefits and they get to play their playstation 3 consoles on 3D TVs and smoke drugs all day as well as get boozed up? Go into any of these low-life scum’s house and you’ll see that they’ve got all the latest gadgets, not only for themselves but for all their sink estate kids as well. The government is not only encouraging these loathsome broken sub-humans to breed, but is effectively encouraging them to not work,” another angry British worker told the BBC.

Britain has a socialist welfare system, which was effectively proposed by William Beveridge in the 1940s for post-war Britain and adapted by Labour’s Clement Attlee, when he came into power in 1945. That system is now outdated, and has been exploited to the point of reproach.

“If the system is socialist, then you can’t have a Conservative government come into that very system and try to govern. This will not be possible, because the system is socialist. The only way a Conservative government can therefore govern, is to break the socialist system and to replace it with a system that works and is profitable for the nation. Beveridge was a eugenicist, and espoused that those who receive benefits should not be allowed to breed. Maybe we need to adopt these original methods of controlling the reproduction of the sub-classes. If you want to go on benefits, we will first sterilize you. Socialist systems only work when there is money poured into them. When other people’s money runs out, then the socialist system stops working. This is one thing we have to tell the Fabians,” a Whitehall insider told the Times.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"


  1. They should all be sterilised. People like these useless breeders are bringing everyone down. They serve no purpose on the earth and do not deserve to live. Sterilise all longterm benefits cheats and breeders. I REFUSE TO PAY TAX. STERILIZE THESE SUB-HUMANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. I'm never going to buy a Big Issue again..all it is is Rumanian gypsies now..if there were real Big issue sellers who were homeless I would buy one but none of my mates buy em off the new lot either.

  3. Stop participating stop conforming and paying tax..these people are laughing at the taxpayers….remember these people have nothing to lose their on benefits and they will always be supported by the dole office.

    Don't pay your tax or live on very little or better still join the millions on the dole…if u can't beat em join em..

  4. I agree with the person below who said it's not worth getting a job. Simply put what's the point? You have to pay loads of money to get to work, your taxed at 20% basic and you have to deal with shitty bosses who you want to kill. Don't forget the fact that you have long hours wasted so that your tax money can prop up some scrounging bastard on benefits. Better to make your money from ill gotten gains and take it offshore. there are manywho have not paid tax in this country for 30 years and don't plan to start paying any time soon…the disgraceful free for all in this country is digusting to hard working people..it is an abhorrant part of living in th e UK…


  6. I've heard that David Cameron wants all English towns and cities to have a triple barrelled name like Kingston-on-Thames or Stoke-on-Trent.

    It'll go down really well in Middlesbrough-on-Benefits…

  7. I'm ashamed to live in Britain. On my street alone there are six families who receive £30,000 – £65,000 per year. I work as a nurse and do a 50 hour week . I get £24,000 and I have to pay tax on that which gives me about £17,000 to live on. With that I feed my two children and pay the rent. It's hard to live in hardship wehn I see the other families living a life of doing nothing. I get very upset.

  8. This is why I will never get a high paying job in Britain because I don't think I could live with the thought of paying tax if it goes to the welfare scum who get more money than workers. Makes me sick to the pit of my stomach. If you pay tax you should be angry. Better to lose your job than pay up. I'm even considering going criminal and not paying tax because there is no point.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »