17.7 C
London
Sunday, October 6, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldSeptember to be Renamed '9/11 Month'

September to be Renamed '9/11 Month'

NEW YORK - USA - It's that time of year again. The month of September when Americans make the world aware of what happened to them all those years ago.

Speaking at the hallowed ground of ground zero, Mayor Blumburger said: “Ten Septembers ago a tragedy befell America where 4,000 people died in the twin towers. This is why we’re renaming the month of September, ‘911 month’ because that is exactly what it is. The question is folks. Cui bono? Who benefitted from that attack on that fateful day? It certainly was not any Arab nation or Muslims who are now a pariah around the world. Think to yourself for one second, what did 911 allow America to do? I’ll tell you, many things like invading oil rich countries, shutting down civil liberties and creating a mass of jingoistic nationalism amongst Americans. They didn’t scramble one Air Force jet that day. Why? It was the precursor for the Project for the New American Century, which was written way before the tragedy of 911 ever happened. The people who wrote the PNAC were asking for a new Pearl Harbour, a catalyst, they wanted it, they prayed for it. Ask yourselves again, for one second, who gained from the demolition of the towers? This is why September will be renamed because we want everyone to remember what happened to us. What you saw that day is imbedded in your brain, it is etched like a Leonardo Da Vinci masterpiece deep in your lobes. Everywhere you look, the media utters the words, every media source is on permanent 911 loop, you cannot escape from it. Repetition, repetition, repetition. It is the old Soviet trick they are utilising, to bore it into your brain. Never mind that there were far worse tragedies meted out onto lesser beings (i.e. non-Americans). Look at the Japanese, a hardy people who have had two atomic weapons dropped on them, massive tsunamis, powerstation leaks and earthquakes. You do not hear a whimper from these people. They get on with their lives, they do not ask for people to feel sorry for them or plaster the world’s media with their misery. I look at the Japanese, and I bow my head with respect. They are not blubbering cry babies, they are hardy warriors who get on with their lives and do not pollute the air waves with their constant memorials. I’m off to play a round of golf right now, to get on with my life, and urge you all to do the same.”

American politicians and historians are thus proposing that the world adopts ‘911 Month’ replacing September which was originally derived from the Latin, septem meaning “seven” and septimus “seventh”.

September was in fact the seventh month of the Roman calendar until 153 BC, when the first month changed from Kalendas Martius (1 March) to Kalendas Januarius (1 January).

From now on September will be rubbed from calendars worldwide and replaced by ‘911 month’. Never forget, and if you do, they will make you remember.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

13 COMMENTS

  1. All these people saying that the wars were to keep oil flowing. These are the very same people who would be the first to whine when they couldn't drive their car, when there are no McDonalds left, when everything grinds to a halt because there is no oil. As for 9/11, some make things far more complicated than they are. The terror threat is very real, and I hope to God none of you whiners end up being pulverized in a skyscraper. Second thought, maybe you should be.

  2. I know nsa black ops used a special weapon from space to bring the towers down. this weapon is top secret. it utilizes sound pulse waves and microwave energy to cause ripples and can crush buildings. if you watch 911 vids you will can see jet fuel being dispersed out of the buildings during explosion. we all know that many disinformation agents out there and conspiracy theorists. pay no attention to them. the collapse defied the laws of known physics. the military is 120 years ahead of civilian in technology.

  3. “An evil exists that threatens every man, woman and child of this great nation. We must take steps to insure our domestic security and protect our Homeland.”

    Adolf Hitler 1933 on creation of Gestapo

    “We will submit a budget that fits the times. It will provide every tool and resource to the military, will protect the homeland, and meet other priorities of the government.”

    George W. Bush speaking at a conference on December 20, 2004

    The Reichstag fire was determined to have been encouraged or started by the Nazis to justify their crack down. It resulting in a decree that "placed severe limitations on personal freedom, the right of free expression, the freedom of the press, and the freedom of assembly; it permitted the authorities to spy on people’s private communications through the post, telegraph, and telephone; it allowed the police to conduct search and seizure operations in private homes; and it enabled the police to arrest people and put them in protective custody without charging them with a specific offense"

  4. Everyone loses someone sometime in their lives..bereavement is never easy but we have to pick ourselves up and carry on. I'm sure the dead don't want you to hamper on it too much. Life is for living. You pick yourself up and move on.

  5. A lot of people lost family members that day. It's not so easy for some people to simply "move on" from something like that. Would you tell this to motherless/fatherless children?

  6. STFU Noone here gets it. We invaded Iraq cuz they had WMDs and were going to invade the west in 45 minutes. I remember what they said on the bulletins and we had to go in there because we had the war on terror and Saddam was a bad man. Dubya said he was a bad man and I know he was because he tortured people and invaded Kuwait. If they had stop trying to by yellowcake from Sudam and building nuclear weapons then we would of left them alone. Maybe they helped in 911 too never trust a sandnig as far as you can throw him.

  7. You disgust me we invaded Iraq because they attacked us first. We're still in that war right now. All you deniers and haters if it wasn't for us Islam would overrun the Western free world. We're all free because US fought for your freedom. If you want to live in Iran or some other douch hole go and live there. Yu all make me puke.

  8. Every day I think of the people who were sacrificed in the WTC so that the US warmachine could conquer more land. No one talks about the hundreds of thousands who died in the wars afterwards so that the oil could keep flowing….makes me sick to the core. They did that to their own people. If Americans knew the truth they would be riots.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!