Daily Squib Backing Sarah Palin For President

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Our American offices are bristling with excitement of what is to follow in the next few months when the campaigning for the 2012 elections really gets going.

The Daily Squib is proudly backing Sarah Palin to become the first female president of the United States, just like we backed Barack Obama to be the first ever black president.

“We did it for Barack, supported him all the way, and now it is time for the Squib to endorse Mrs Palin. A woman who is an inspiration to everyone, a true American patriot,” Arnold Dweittlinger, the Daily Squib’s senior American correspondent said on Friday.

Palin will announce later on today that she is set to run for the US presidency in 2012, and now that she has the Daily Squib’s full backing, she is guaranteed to win.

“She’s got this one in the bag. Obama is finished because he pissed off the wrong people i.e. the Jews. She actually made an effort to visit Israel a few months ago, unlike Barack. She will be too hard to resist for American voters. A real woman who can sew a button and shoot a gun, someone who has a solid vision for America, no wishy-washy liberal spendthrift loser, she bristles with the taste of war, economic success and tax breaks that will please everyone. We love Sarah Palin, not just for her ‘hot momma’ looks but for her skill in giving speeches,” Ronnie Jedward, another of the Squib’s reporters in Washington reported.

For the last year or so, Mrs Palin has been under intense schooling and has been taught geography, governemental studies as well as etiquette when meeting world leaders.

One of her handlers, Robert McNamara, told CNN: “She knows where Tirana is as well as Paris on a map. It’s incredible, yesterday she listed all of the provinces in Southern Italy without even taking a look at an atlas.”

Plans are already underfoot for the first invasions once she gets into office much like George W Bush’s tenure, there will possibly have to be an initial catalyst to fuel the intense patriotism.

“We need someone with some f*cking balls, and unlike Barack Obama, Sarah has got plenty. Bush was a bumbling psychotic idiot, Obama is Carter part deux, and Sarah Palin is going to put the U.S. of A back on the motherf*cking map, and this time she’ll be able to point to it on an atlas too,” Mr McNamara added before being whisked away to oversee another Palin geography training session on Capitol Hill.

  • Only Sarah can put the US back on the map!
    that's a fact, folks

  • Ian Carle

    Smart presidents screw everything up. Dumb ones appoint a smart cabinet,who screw everything up.But President Sarah Palin and her Tea Party cabinet would be way too dumb to screw anything up. I can see why you're backing her.

  • David Knapp,Atlanta Ga

    This slut is so stupid its funny.She is dumber than G.W.Bush was and we're still cleaning up da crap that left us in..

    GOBAMA 2012!!!!!

  • Anonymous

    This is a joke right?

  • Aldred Spencer

    Sarah Palin is definitely the most viable candidate out of all of them. Look at Obama. This dude has brought nothing but pain and debt to our once great nation. He's done sweet FA apart from kill Bin Laden, but my guess is he was dead a long time ago and I don't believe they got him. That was a hollow victory for Obama and he aint going to win because of that cynical ploy he pulled. Sarah if she wins will bring prosperity back to America. We need someone like her to clean out the country, to bring JOBS back to our once great manufacturing nation. To support families and fight for what IS RIGHT. No more BS liberals giving our taxes away to other nations who take it and use it against us. NO MORE!!! NOW IS THE TIME!!!

  • Eric

    GO GO Sarah !!

    SarahPAC all the way.

  • Katey Wilder

    She's gonna win I know it for sure. Thank you Daily Squib you guys are the best..