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Rapture Followers Who Gave Away Life Savings Want Money Back

WISCONSIN - USA - Dwight Bingham, a follower of the Christian radio network Family Stations Inc is demanding the return of the $185,000 he gave to Jesus last week when the Rapture was meant to happen.

“I want my money back,” Mr Bingham, 43, told a rival local Christian radio station.

Thousands of Rapture followers are now threatening to sue Jesus for not showing up when they believed he would turn up.

Some even sold all of their belongings and are still in home-made bunkers believing that the Rapture has actually occurred.

“Send more money”

“We got many families here in the Midwest who are still in their shelters and they think the Rapture has happened already. I guess, by now they must be trying to figure out why they aren’t floating around in the clouds hangin’ out with Jesus and the saints. We gots to break the news to them slowly that Jesus didn’t come back this time, but maybe he might come down next week, or even the week after that, some. They need to donate more hard cash so that Jesus can come down this time,” Earl Johnson, a pastor from Jonesville, Alabama reported.

Many Americans who were counting on the end of the world occurring on Saturday are bitterly disappointed that they were hoodwinked again by the evil pastors and confidence tricksters who have a knack in fooling the gullible, brainwashed congregations.

“They been doing the same thing for thousands of years. People need something to believe in, so these scumbags come along, invent a prophet, then fleece the congregation of idiots who follow blindly. It happens time and time again, and they still don’t learn. The devil is actually the one doing the work here, not ‘Jesus’. God does not write books, men do,” Alfie Newman, 74, a resident of Hicksville, Texas, where Jesus was supposed to land on Saturday, told CBS news.

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3 COMMENTS

  1. Wow! This level of intelligence deficiency is astounding. Please tell me though, why aren't these 'pastors' in jail or shot?
    The apparently most powerful country in the world still believes in God and Jesus, a fact in itself that the joke is on us.

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