17.7 C
London
Wednesday, May 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldEU Wants Britain Bankrupted

EU Wants Britain Bankrupted

BRUSSELS - Belgium - The European Union has decreed that the UK should be bankrupted as soon as possible so that it will be forced to join the euro, the ECB's unelected finance minister, Jurgen Scheisse told the European Parliament yesterday.

“We will force the bankrupt British to pay for Greece, Portugal and Ireland’s enormous debts. If they keep refusing to join the euro currency, we will force them in through economic war. This way, even though the UK is not part of the single European currency, it will go further into the hole and will be forced to join up with the rest of us losers,” Mr Scheisse said.

Unfortunately for Britain, the chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, has his hands tied because his predecessor, Alistair Darling signed Britain up to pay for the EU’s huge debts just before he left office. It was his final act of destruction on the UK’s economy and has condemned us all to be bankrupted by the wasteful black hole that are the PIIGS countries.

“You have to thank Alistair Darling for this. Because of him George Osborne has to give Greece, Portugal and anyone else who wants it billions of our taxpayers cash. We’ve already given Ireland £7 billion and are set to give them more. The UK is already battling an enormous deficit caused by Labour’s spending sprees, and we fear the good ship Blighty could very well go under if forced to pay for the Greeks’ profligacy,” leading economist, Archie Numb, told the Telegraph.

Greece, which was given a 130 billion euro loan months ago, now say they need an extra 200 billion euros to keep their bankrupt country afloat.

One does not have to be an economics expert or professor to see that throwing money at the Greek problem is akin to flushing billions of euros down a toilet pan.

Well, thanks to the previous Chancellor of the Exchequer, Alistair Darling, who signed the contract forcing the UK to prop up the bankrupt EU countries on May 10, 2010, we are all fucked and tied to bailing out Greece, Portugal and the rest of them.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »