Three Wise Men Had Low IQ's Say Biblical Experts

NAZARETH - Israel - Archaeologists and theological researchers have uncovered evidence that proves the three wise men were actually pretty dumb.

A recent dig in the northern part of the old city walls of Nazareth has uncovered incredible evidence that throws light onto the lives of the three wise men who travelled from far and wide to visit baby Jesus in his manger.

“We couldn’t believe our luck when we stumbled across the tablets and scrolls in a cave just 50 metres from the old city walls. What we found out is quite incredible information revealing that the three wise men who visited Jesus were actually pretty stupid and were a bunch of bumbling fools. They weren’t wise in the least, and couldn’t brainstorm themselves out of a paper bag even if they tried,” Dr. Roger Meakin, senior theologian and archaeologist during the dig revealed.

When it came to tasks like simple arithmetic, spelling and logic, the three wise men were considered as sub-par and severely challenged.

“We found out that they weren’t magicians, or magi — more like bad illusionists. At one merchant’s party, they tried to perform the famous rabbit out of a hat trick. Someone didn’t tell them that they had to have a cloth over the table to disguise an assistant stuffing the rabbit in the hat. When they brought the special gifts to Jesus, they at first couldn’t find the manger where Jesus was staying even though there was a great big whopping star directly above the barn, and not only did they not find the barn at first, they were side-tracked to a local whorehouse in Beersheba, where they gave all the gifts they were meant to give to Jesus away. This is sadly the reality of the whole bible story that can only be revealed today,” Dr. Meakin revealed.

Archaeologists and theologians are still studying the scrolls to see if they can find even more information from them.

Yesterday, the Vatican and Anglican churches welcomed the new findings however baffling they were, but see the new find as a positive note in an altogether mysterious chapter of the bible.