Last Chilean Miner Out Arrested

SAN JOSE - Chile - In a remarkable turn of events, the last trapped miner to come out of the stricken mine where 33 miners were stranded for 69 days was immediately arrested by the local authorities.

The last man out was Augusto José Ramón Pinochet, an imposter who somehow blended in with the other miners, and was arrested immediately when he came to the surface.

“We don’t know how this man got into the mine and masqueraded as a miner for 69 days but he is going to jail now for sure,” President Sebastian Pinera told the assembled crowds and reporters.

Mr Pinochet waved at the cameras as he was led away to a waiting police van.

“He told us his name was Ruiz and he was in the mine to help. When he started to torture a few us and try and recruit us into a paramilitary police force, then we got a little scared,” Rodriguez Chichotas, one of the trapped miners told the Santiago Times.