Gordon Brown Promises More Muskets for Troops During Afghan Visit

KABUL - Afghanistan - Gordon Brown, the unelected prime minister, has praised the work of British troops in Afghanistan during a visit to the country and promised more muskets and cannons for them to overcome the threat of daily massacres by marauding Afghan Mujahadeen warriors and psychopathic Taliban zealots.

Mr Brown announced muskets and cannon balls to deal with the improvised explosive
devices (IEDs), snipers, ambushes, rocket attacks, suicide bombers and truck bombs that have killed and wounded so many British soldiers.

He visited troops at Camp Clusterfuck in Hellhole province and thanked them for
their efforts in being ‘cannon fodder of the highest order’.

Mr Brown travelled by helicopter with Air Chief Marshal Sir Jock Strap, Chief of the
Defence Staff, and had talks with senior commanders including US commander
General Bernard McScheisse.


The Prime Minister said: “Let me pay tribute to the sacrificial offerings, selflessness, lemmingness, and brainwashing of our cannon fodder.

“The mission in Afghanistan is a worthless job thought up by bureaucrats in some Whitehall office where we really do not have a plan or mission but are simply flailing in the dark to save our self-serving egos.

“I think our cannon fodder have shown extraordinary courage in being massacred on a daily basis during this period.

“I present to them these muskets from 1842, to show our commitment to them in their selfless sacrifice as cannon fodder.”

Mr Brown unveiled the old muskets to deal with the threats facing British cannon fodder on the ground to cheers from the poor blighters who would later be blown to pieces on some arid dusty field somewhere.

This autumn, 200 specialist cannons and 5000 muskets will be deployed to join 200 muskets
that were sent there earlier in the year.

“This way when our lower rank cannon fodder rush at the enemy hiding in the mountains, they will be shredded and blown to pieces faster because the muskets have to be loaded manually for each shot. It can take up to three minutes to reload one of these muskets and by that time if you are still standing you would be lucky,” Colonel Charlie Grimsdale, 2nd Battalion The Duke of Doncaster’s Regiment told the BBC.