17.7 C
London
Wednesday, May 29, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldGOP to Change Elephant Mascot

GOP to Change Elephant Mascot

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Sarah Palin's election team in Capital Hill are gearing up for the 2012 elections and are petitioning GOP headquarters to change the elephant mascot to that of a much friendlier, and familiar image.

GOP Headquarters was buzzing all of yesterday because Sarah Palin was in town from Alaska to spearhead the new image re-think that is so desperately needed and will revolutionise the Republican party forever.

“We’re going to change our mascot. It is time for a re-branding session and I’ve been speaking to our GOP representatives and telling them that we need to change the animal from an elephant to a moose. Someone even suggested a dead moose, like its legs akimbo in the air. I think that will symbolise our great party right there. After eight years of Dubya rule, that’s what we got. I shoot moose all day here in Wasilla and we eat moose meat all the time. My family lives and breathes moose, so we need to get more moose mascots. They make a great soup, you just drop that moose meat right in the pot and you got yourself a hot broth for those cold dark winter nights. If you walk into our dining room you will see about thirty moose heads on the wall. We even named the suckers, each and every one of those moose on the wall has a name. My favourite is Obongo, yep, and then there’s John Mack who was a really old one I shot last winter, and then we got Letterman as well, oh, that’s not a moose I forgot, it’s the actual head of David Letterman right there on the wall. All GOPers are welcome to come up to Alaska and we’ll put you up for a night or two, but if you’re a male we have to warn you. There will be no sneaking into our daughters rooms. Well, there you go, we should change the mascot to a moose and that folks is my daily moose rant of which there are many. I’ve even fashioned a Prada coat from a moose pelt so they’re useful for everything. We don’t have elephants in America, they only have them in the country of Africa, at least that is what I learned in school..so let’s stick with the good ol’ North American moose folks. We got shitloads of those, that is, until it’s hunting season.”

Mrs Palin has already commissioned a top advertising agency from Chicago to redesign the logo for the Republican party.

The new mascot will be officially unveiled next week and will also include a campaign planning session for the upcoming 2012 elections when Sarah Palin will run for US presidency.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »