Ed Masters is retelling his harrowing story to assembled reporters in a disused wood shed somewhere deep in the Californian wilderness of Bluff Creek, his hands shake with fear and the sweat drips off his straining brow as he recalls his story.
“I… saw this thing coming out of the woods, it was a slow ambling creature, I knew it had age but it still had some kind of purpose. It was hunched over and had this crazy grin stuck permanently on its ugly face. For a second I thought it looked like someone I’ve been seeing a lot for the past two years but i’m still trying to remember what it is that haunts the deepest recesses of my mind. Please if anyone can tell me what I saw that fateful day, do you recognise what or who that thing is? Please you will put me out of my goddamn misery. Oh lord how I pray for penance.”
It was 4 pm on Wednesday November the 5th when Mr Masters saw the creature ambling through a clearing. His shaky hands managed to take a few snaps and the Daily Squib has acquired the rights to publish this exclusive photograph for the very first time.
Could this Sasquatch creature be the famous Bigfoot? If any of our readers know what or who this thing is please leave a comment and the Sheriff of Bluff Creek will contact you to get the details, or alternatively call this Toll Free number 800 SILLYOLDGIT
The Mysterious Creature Uncovered
The photograph shows the monster in all of its glory hazzamon – b3ta.com