Prime Minister Gordon Brown brought his usual cheer to the seaside town of Weston-super-Mare today and blessed the famous pier, which was built in 1904, with his luck.
Witnesses say they saw the hapless PM near the pier when large columns of flames shot up 20 feet into the air.
“Gordon Brown has visited our pier. Thank you Gordon Brown! Thank you very much!” an angry resident, Reg Bridlington, 67, told reporters.
The fiery inferno ripped through the partly-wooden structure and sent clouds of grey
smoke spiralling into the air which could be seen 15 miles away. The residents of Weston-super-Mare were today counting the cost of the unlucky PM visiting their town. They know full well that bad luck follows him everywhere.
Scores of firefighters fought the flames which took hold of the 104-year-old
Grade II-listed pier at about 7am, but it took little over an hour for the
pavilion to be reduced to a tangle of blackened metal.
Lord Archer, who has better luck than Gordon, was brought up in Weston-super-Mare. He recalled fondly spending “far
too many pennies” on the local prostitutes whilst trawling the pier and of how he met his wife Mary whilst she was working the pier herself one summer holiday.
He said: “It will take years if it is to be restored to its former glory. It didn’t have a bloody chance. Once that morose Stalinist Gordon turned up — disaster was on the books.”