Christians Wrong About the Devil Says Pope

THE HOLY SEE - Italy - Pope Francis who likes to mention the devil all the time in his speeches and correspondence has finally come to the conclusion that hell is not so bad after all for sinners, and the devil is not as bad as he used to be made out to be.

“Okay, the devil, or Satan, whatever you wish to call him has got a place down there where the bad people go after they croak. But check this out, if the devil is like really bad and some Joe goes down there who was bad in life, why’s he going to punish him? Hell, the devil’s just gonna say ‘well done you’re one of us now’ he’ll tell ’em to take a seat relax and have some more fun. Contrary to belief, the devil does not like to punish the bad ones, he has no reason to, and hell ain’t such a bad place to be,” Francis told a shocked audience on Tuesday.

Without hell, there would not be a heaven, and vice versa, so what’s up in heaven for Christians?

“Heaven is boring. You’ll meet some old relatives up there, and everything is white. That’s it. You can’t get more boring than that plus there’s this awful elevator music on constant loop,” the pope added with a mischievous grin.

Other Religious Questions Answered 

1) If the pope believes there is an afterlife and is fearless of death why does he go around with heavily armed guards and bulletproof vehicles?

Because the truth is that the pope is seriously afraid of death and he knows when you die, once your brain stops working, that’s it. Nothingness.

2) Why did the Christian church create a devil?

So that it could scare the shit out of simple people into doing what they wanted them to do in the old days when many could not reason, read or write. Also, to create a duality, a bogey man. Without the devil, God would not have an adversary and look so good. One cannot exist without the other.

3) How come the snake could speak in perfect English in the Garden of Eden?

He was a talking snake dummy. Get with the program. Everything thousands of years ago spoke in perfect Medieval era English and Latin.

4) If God is around all the time and all seeing, why did he not warn Adam and Eve about the talking snake, and maybe intervene?

Sheesh. Even God takes a break some times. He must have been cutting his toe nails or something.

5) If God created everything in the universe, does this mean he created the devil too?

Yep, the devil is part of God’s creation, because he created everything in the universe. Therefore, the devil is part of God.