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Comrade Brown: All Fuel Protests Will be Crushed!

LONDON - England - Recently back from visiting Bolshevik troops in Eurasia and Eastasia, who are fighting on two fronts to increase oil production for the plebiscite and proles. Our supreme unelected Commander in Chief Gordon Brown has warned traitors and treasonous state terrorists against protesting the huge hikes in petrol prices at home.

Supreme unelected Comrade Brown announced today that military operations are going well on both fronts and that any dissent at home by fuel protesters will be crushed with extreme prejudice. He made the momentous announcement from Whitehall’s Red Square.

“Our troops in Eastasia and Eurasia are fighting well, comrades. Soon we will control all oil fields and oil pipelines to our great nation indefinitely. Daily, we are eliminating more and more of the inferior natives of these countries. Our totalitarian doctrine will soon encompass their oil terminals and vast supplies of black gold.”

Comrade Brown then added, “My Politburo and Stasi officials have informed me that there have been whispers of dissent amongst some proles and even party officials regarding the high cost of petrol for your vehicles. I have announced another increase in fuel tax for the New Year to congratulate the people for their impotence in stopping the fuel tax increases. As always, any type of dissent will be crushed, and the doubters will be removed to gulags in Sector 101 Northern Britain or Sector 29 Swindon.

Comrade Bean then tripped over the podium and fell onto Comrade Milliband, grunting with an almighty war cry. Supreme Commander Bean/Brown was then helped upright by the Right Honourable Comrade Ballsup.

Unelected Comrade Bean is a truly courageous leader and is a man of true principal. He is decisive in what he does and is a true authority in all policies.

Start Panic Buying Now

The
supreme unelected comrade has so far awarded proles a wonderful 25p
increase in fuel tax for 2007 alone. Fuel prices are now at 105.9p.

Of the £1 paid for a litre of fuel, 69.5p is tax. A
total of 28p goes to the oil producer, 1.5p to the retailer and 1p to
the supplier.

Fuel tax increases are a necessary benefit to the state and are a small cost to the taxpayer. Comrades, we must embrace paying over £6 per gallon, as well as enjoying the principled increases in basic food costs and huge hikes in mortgage and credit card costs. It is for your own good, and our supreme unelected commander hopes you enjoy your suffering with joy. The British Soviet people are a very resolute people and our enormous Labour tax rises for everyone are eaten up by the population with no questions; such is their astounding programming.

The workers of the state have made the Supreme Comrade Brown very proud with their submissive nature. The British Soviet workers can have any indignity foisted upon them and they barely whimper. Such dedication to huge taxes, sordid living conditions, surveillance, high crime and horrible quality of life — truly inspirational.

Comrade Brown will be announcing next week that all state workers will have an increase of one boiled sweet per 4 month period, in addition to adding 3 more pence onto each litre of petrol.

Notice: B68722 INGSOCK Long Live the Bean!

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1 COMMENT

  1. What happened to the granny that demoed outside purfleet refinery on her own for hours? Was she sent to the gulag?

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