17.7 C
London
Wednesday, November 29, 2023
secret satire society
secret satire society
secret satire society
secret satire society
HomeSportsMurray to Gain Independence From Winning Wimbledon

Murray to Gain Independence From Winning Wimbledon

LONDON - England - Andy Murray, who fought valiantly to get to the final at Wimbledon, has sadly lost to his opponent Roger Federer. Murray now plans to secede from the union of Wimbledon, his agent has disclosed.

buy squib book

“To tell you the truth, I’ve had enough of it. This losing lark has made me really angry, and I have an irresistible urge to paint my face blue and gain Independence from Wimbledon,” Murray said as he wiped a tear from his eye at Wimbledon today.

Murray plans on making his own tournament away from Wimbledon, where there are no Swiss tennis geniuses like Federer around.

“It’s going to be a new competition where I will win the cup every time. In order for that to happen, I will need to be the only contestant and I will be playing against a brick wall with a painted line on it to denote the net,” Murray revealed.

The new tournament will only have one line judge and will always give the decision to Murray.

“If Murray loses the tournament, he will be British. If he wins, well, you can guess what nationality he will be then,” line judge, Alex Salmond, told the BBC.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift For Christmas. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
spot_img
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

Recent Comments