At Least Tom Cruise Got to Keep the Thetans

LOS ANGELES - USA - Tom Cruise is actually glad to be divorced from Katie Holmes, a Church of Scientology spokesperson, as well as the Hollywood star, told news media today.

“I get to keep the Thetans. Hey, it’s her loss. She don’t know what she’s missing,” Cruise said smiling deeply, then jumping up on a couch in the Celebrity Scientology Centre in Hollywood.

After leaving so suddenly, Katie Holmes even left her e-Meter behind, so Tom Cruise now has two to use at his leisure.

“Sometimes I sit in a room with no windows and I think to myself, not only do I have as many Thetans as I want, but I now have two e-Meters. On my god, it is so amazing, not one, but two!” the excited star added.