17.7 C
London
Wednesday, February 12, 2025
secret satire society
HomeEntertainmentAt Least Tom Cruise Got to Keep the Thetans

At Least Tom Cruise Got to Keep the Thetans

LOS ANGELES - USA - Tom Cruise is actually glad to be divorced from Katie Holmes, a Church of Scientology spokesperson, as well as the Hollywood star, told news media today.

ai

“I get to keep the Thetans. Hey, it’s her loss. She don’t know what she’s missing,” Cruise said smiling deeply, then jumping up on a couch in the Celebrity Scientology Centre in Hollywood.

After leaving so suddenly, Katie Holmes even left her e-Meter behind, so Tom Cruise now has two to use at his leisure.

“Sometimes I sit in a room with no windows and I think to myself, not only do I have as many Thetans as I want, but I now have two e-Meters. On my god, it is so amazing, not one, but two!” the excited star added.

  Help Support Independent Publishers

  PLEASE SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice and coffee.
ds-indy-free-banner

1 COMMENT

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!