17.7 C
London
Friday, February 13, 2026
secret satire society
HomeSportsTiger Woods to Take Break After 18 Hole Victory

Tiger Woods to Take Break After 18 Hole Victory

FLORIDA - USA - Champion golfer, Tiger Woods, is to take a brief break from 'golfing' after another 18 hole victory that has gripped the world of sport.

ai —Ensure our latest news headlines always appear at the top of your Google Search by making us a Preferred Source. Click here to activate or add us as a Preferred Source in your Google search settings—

After another spectacular performance in this years pro Vagina contest, Woods ensured he sunk his ball into all 18 holes without so much as a hiccup or a double-bogey.

“That Tiger Woods sure likes to get around the course huh? I saw him shoot six hole-in-one’s and he only had one tiny scare by missing the rough once and getting caught by wifey. This guy is incredible huh,” Sven Nordegan, a sports commentator for ABC said.

Woods’ incredible staying power is truly awesome, it’s almost as if his golf club is dipped in viagra.

“He got his wood out and wedged the ball right in the first hole after the most amazing approach shot I have ever seen. From then on it was plain sailing and he was slapping those balls in the holes like anything. Even before he finished one hole he’d be thinking of the next and the next and the next. I’d say he was balls deep in the back nine, what a pro,” Mr Nordegan added.

Another golfing enthusiast said of Woods’ incredible 18 hole run: “The boy is truly marvelous. At one point we saw a banana ball but it worked to his advantage because he is a true bandit. He came out swinging straight into the sweet-spot and schlepped a zinger straight into the eighteenth hole. The magic of all of this, of course, is that his wife forgave his wallet afterwards.”

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.  
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  •  
    ai
    - Advertisment - proton vpn

    NEWS ON THE HOUR

    ai

    MORE NEWS

    THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

    The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!