17.7 C
Sunday, June 23, 2024
secret satire society
HomeSci/TechWhy Stretching Your Mouse Pointer Across Screen is Hard Work

Why Stretching Your Mouse Pointer Across Screen is Hard Work

CUPERTINO - USA - People are getting so lazy these days that simple actions like moving a mouse pointer to the other side of a screen is considered hard work.


Josh Wilmer, a tech guru working for Apple has studied the new phenomenon.

“Say you’ve got a folder a-a-a-a-a-a-all the way on the other side of your screen. Well, you gotta move that mouse pointer, or if you’re on a touch pad stretch your arm all the way across. It really is so tiresome and repetitive. Our studies have found it is really pissing a lot of people off. Like I have a 25 inch monitor, it takes me until next Tuesday to move the pointer from one end of the screen to the other, and the mouse is on fast sensitivity. Aaaaaaargh!”

What is the solution to this odious problem, where people want instant results for their computer operations? Surely there must be a cure for the ever increasing problem of the lazy arm?

“Chip implants are the future, you won’t even know it’s there. Bam, look, think, and you can complete any operation you want instantaneously without even lifting a finger or dragging a pointer across some screen. Many companies are working on that right now. In less than ten years we will be having chip implants directly into the brain, and these will link us with our machines,” Wilmer added.

Putting a microchip in the brain does seem a little invasive, but it will probably be introduced slowly, via a head piece that is worn externally and triggered by electromagnetic brain waves.

The possibilities are endless, just as a computer can work on multiple functions simultaneously so too will some humans.

Once these baby steps are achieved, the human will interact with AI systems seamlessly  and productivity within jobs that are still viable will increase. There will be some time however until the introduction of chips powerful enough to completely understand every single synapse and neuron, but progress always comes with momentum, as more technical advances are introduced a waterfall envelopes all tech companies vying for the next big thing.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »