17.7 C
London
Saturday, October 12, 2024
secret satire society
HomeSci/TechMicrosoft Shows Off 'Slate' PC

Microsoft Shows Off ‘Slate’ PC

LAS VEGAS - USA - Microsoft introduces their new slate PC ahead of the launch of a much rumoured device from Apple.

Microsoft unveiled the Windows 7 powered slate PC, also known as
a piece of stone, at the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas.

The aim of the device is to get ahead of Apple somehow.

Apple
are also reported to be gearing up to launch a slate device in late
January to go on sale in March, but that one will actually work and be good.

You can imagine how overwhelming it is for the ordinary masses to have their very own piece of slate
Margaret Shill

Industry experts say that the Microsoft slate will be heavier than the Apple product because it’s ‘made out of stone you idiots’.

“The stone has a really nice finish and is a beautiful little product,” said Microsoft boss Steve Ballmer before dropping it on his foot and screaming in agony.

During
his keynote address at CES, Mr Ballmer demonstrated the machine in
front of an audience of over 3,500 press, bloggers, analysts and
industry peers by getting out a hammer and chisel.

He also showed off the slate’s other capabilities like stacking them up and making a wall as well as paving for the garden.

Muted reaction

Reaction to the as yet unnamed stone slate was somewhat subdued.

“What
we saw confirmed my worst suspicions, that this is a piece of slate stone. Nothing different from previous
Microscratch products,” Julius Malthus, senior associate
editor of technology website TechMunch, told the Daily Squib.

“It’s an
interesting product in itself but Microsoft could have gone further. Maybe they should expand into boulders or chunks of marble.”

However, technology blogger Kunt Roach of Rabbi’s Hardware did not agree.

“It
looked really good given the short amount of time we saw it for but I still would have preferred the standard Microscratch brick. Everyone loves a good sized brick to throw through a window or drop from the twentieth floor. I miss the Microscratch bricks.”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!