17.7 C
London
Friday, June 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeLifestyleKeep Celery Crunchy and Fresh for Four Weeks With Easy Storage Solution

Keep Celery Crunchy and Fresh for Four Weeks With Easy Storage Solution

SCUNTHORPE - England - Celery is known for its crunchy texture, but it will quickly deteriorate and become limp if stored incorrectly. We discover the best easy storage solution for your celery.

Celery, like many salad items, has a short shelf life once it reaches your fridge. However, changing the way you store it can prolong its freshness for up to four weeks. We discovered the perfect easy storage solution for your piece of celery.

Steve from Common Sense Tips Online posed the question: “What is the best way to store celery?”

He then pointed out that manufacturers package everything in fucking plastic wrapping which sort of explains why we all have microplastics in our bodies and the rates of cancer are rising yearly.

The food storage expert added: “Notice they use plastic wrapping, but the interesting thing you should note is the plastic wrapping is essentially poisoning us all slowly. This is something no one likes to bring up, and is very hush, hush.

“That tells us that the manufacturer doesn’t give a shit about the health of the population and everything is about profit.”

READ MORE: ‘I lived till 110 by eating deep-fried Mars bars at chippies, and that’s one thing I’d never change’

celery 2
Limp celery is great for cooking especially used as a base for bolognese with carrot and diced onion

Sharing an alternative storage method for celery, Steve said: “I have some celery that’s been in the fridge for about four weeks. I’ll throw the fucking thing out, and go and buy a new bunch. Easy as fucking pie.”

He demonstrated the effectiveness of this method by walking to the supermarket, buying a new bunch of celery and breaking a stalk in half, revealing a satisfying crunch after coming back home.

Explaining why going to the supermarket works well, Steve said: “It’s a no-brainer. Your celery goes rotten in the fridge. The supermarket is an easy storage solution. Just get a new bunch, leave it in the fridge again until that goes rotten, rinse and repeat. Are you fucking stupid or something? Yes, this is a space filler article mimicking all media outlets, but what I’m saying is bloody common sense. Get a fucking life, will ya!”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

2 COMMENTS

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »