17.7 C
London
Friday, June 20, 2025
secret satire society
HomeEntertainmentMan Trapped in Two Year You Tube Video Hell

Man Trapped in Two Year You Tube Video Hell

GRIMSBY - England - A 28-year-old unemployed man who has been trapped in a vicious You Tube video cycle for two years may finally get some help, local council workers have revealed.

ai

“He goes from one video to the next, and he can’t stop. Things are so desperate now that we do not know what to do,” the man’s long suffering mother told local radio stations.

One of the fundamental things about the video web site You Tube is the ability to click on a related video after you have finished watching the one you were watching.

In a single 24 hour period, Robert Darrents, can watch over 14,500 clips of varying length and is so addicted to the site that he even has the website on permanent loop during his fifteen minutes of daily sleep.

“Yes, he still surfs You Tube during his sleep, somehow he shuts one eye and keeps the other one open with a matchstick while the You Tube playlist automatically goes from one clip to the next,” his mother, Maureen Darrents, revealed.

Council officials and health workers are aiming to help Mr Darrents by pulling the plug on the internet some time next week. Health officials will be on hand to assist if anything goes terribly wrong.

“We expect him to be thrashing and writhing on the floor uncontrollably. Medics will be present and we may have to strap Mr Darrents down as well as sedate him. He will then be taken to a rehabilitation centre for a slow long recovery. It may take over four years to get him to a level of normalcy,” Eric Jobsworth, a council health official told the Grimbsy Argos newspaper.

  Help Support Independent Publishers

  SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice and coffee.
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!