17.7 C
Sunday, February 25, 2024
secret satire society
HomeEntertainmentGenuine Guitarists Relieved After Guitar Hero Game Demise

Genuine Guitarists Relieved After Guitar Hero Game Demise

LONDON - England - Millions of real guitarists made a collective sigh of relief around the world yesterday after it was revealed that games company Activision is dumping the Guitar Hero game franchise.

buy squib book

What used to take hours of noodling around on the guitar in the bedroom was bastardized and soiled by Guitar Hero, many real guitarists claim.

“It would take many years to really learn the guitar. You have to know all the intricate scales, the massive chord vocabulary and also get the feel right, you know, your own style. Hours and hours of intricate practice daily and an unwavering dedication to carry on whilst other lesser kids were out there playing silly games. Then Guitar Hero the game came out, and suddenly playing guitar was trivialised to a level below drumming,” Yngwie Vai, 24, a seasoned bedroom guitarist told Guitar Weekly magazine.

Another real guitarist, Joseph von Satriani, from San Francisco, said: “The Guitar Hero game had no relation to the real guitar and was only a vehicle for idiots to think they could play the guitar. You try and play an Emaj9 and then a complicated Django Reinhardt jazz scale on one of those plastic guitars with about five buttons on them. It made a mockery of real guitarists.”

“I can understand the game DJ Hero being on the Xbox because to be a DJ there’s no skill or musicality involved apart from mixing one song that someone else wrote into another song that someone else wrote. Now that game was made for the games consoles, but guitars are for real musicians not assholes who can’t play a note on any instrument,” another musician revealed.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"


  1. I don't understand WHY they can't make the games fun AND educational. Why not design a basic real guitar for the gaming consoles? Instead of hitting a button to hit the right chord, they would have to hit the stings in the correct area of the neck to hit the right chord. If kids are willing to learn buttons, they'd be willing to learn strings if that's what it took to win the game.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »