Genuine Guitarists Relieved After Guitar Hero Game Demise

LONDON - England - Millions of real guitarists made a collective sigh of relief around the world yesterday after it was revealed that games company Activision is dumping the Guitar Hero game franchise.

What used to take hours of noodling around on the guitar in the bedroom was bastardized and soiled by Guitar Hero, many real guitarists claim.

“It would take many years to really learn the guitar. You have to know all the intricate scales, the massive chord vocabulary and also get the feel right, you know, your own style. Hours and hours of intricate practice daily and an unwavering dedication to carry on whilst other lesser kids were out there playing silly games. Then Guitar Hero the game came out, and suddenly playing guitar was trivialised to a level below drumming,” Yngwie Vai, 24, a seasoned bedroom guitarist told Guitar Weekly magazine.

Another real guitarist, Joseph von Satriani, from San Francisco, said: “The Guitar Hero game had no relation to the real guitar and was only a vehicle for idiots to think they could play the guitar. You try and play an Emaj9 and then a complicated Django Reinhardt jazz scale on one of those plastic guitars with about five buttons on them. It made a mockery of real guitarists.”

“I can understand the game DJ Hero being on the Xbox because to be a DJ there’s no skill or musicality involved apart from mixing one song that someone else wrote into another song that someone else wrote. Now that game was made for the games consoles, but guitars are for real musicians not assholes who can’t play a note on any instrument,” another musician revealed.

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