It was like an episode out of a Scooby Doo cartoon, the detectives gathered round the captured Governor and have now revealed the truth about the corrupt official’s true identity.
“We found out today that the Governor of Illinois is Perez Hilton the gay blogger from the internets. Yeah, it’s him, we unmasked the true identity of this corrupt official,” Police Sergeant, Enus McMasters told Fox News.
The incredible find has shocked the world of politics and the blogosphere, the internet has been buzzing with gossip all week.
“I saw his shitty haircut and his stupid clothes and I knew that was Perez Hilton, c’mon look at that haircut! That’s what gave it away. Plus the bitch wants to make money, he’s greedy like Perez…I hope they take his gay ass blog down or maybe he can do it while he’s in prison,” an internet forum chatter exclaimed.
No one knows how Perez Hilton became the Illinois Governor but conspiracy nuts are cropping up with many theories every day.
Jones Valasquez of the Conspiracy Blog had this to say about the whole sorry affair: “Perez was Rod Blagojevich’s buttboy but when he tried to extort money from him after a session, Rod refused to pay up. That’s when we think Perez blew his gay bunny boiler antics and he must have snuffed the real Governor out. We don’t know how long he has been masquerading as a Governor but we believe he loves the power and money. We also do not know where he stashed the body, we need to bring in CSI for that shit.”
A thorough Pentagon investigation is underway and even though the Federal Bureau of Investigation has also joined the case there is still a media blackout on the whole affair.
President-Elect, Barack Obama’s office has not made a comment about the scandal and when contacted yesterday refused to talk about the issue.