17.7 C
London
Friday, July 12, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldGordon Brown Destroying Pound to Join Euro

Gordon Brown Destroying Pound to Join Euro

LONDON - England - Comrade Gordon Brown, unelected leader of the British Soviet state is deliberately destroying the UK pound so as to join the Single European Currency -- the Euro.

Ready to Join Euro

Our supreme unelected world leader has already discussed the changeover with Comrade Barroso, Commissar of the European Soviet One World Commission and has finalised the details.

Speaking from the Westminster Duma, Comrade Brown addressed the assembled single party: “Comrades, brave Bolshevik warriors, workers and the proletariat. I today announce the shedding of the old capitalist symbol that has been a thorn in our side for so long — yes, the British pound. It is my duty as your supreme unelected leader to take out this vile symbol of capitalism and democracy. These systems have all failed and you have seen my Soviet ardour with the privatization of the entire banking system which is now, thanks to my efforts, completely Soviet. The currency which has been a symbol of Britain’s sovereign power and empire for hundreds of years will soon be scrapped and incorporated into Europe’s single currency thus accelerating the New Era which I have so dreamed about. Comrades, my ten year world domination plan is slowly coming into fruition and you will, as Soviet British citizens, all feel the benefits of the New Era of Change. As of tomorrow, to celebrate the destruction of the pound and the acceleration into One World Global Soviet Governance by me and a few select leaders, there will be an extra ration of sugar for all citizens served up next week. Comrades, enjoy yourselves in your freezing hovels and unheated eco-dwellings. Don’t forget, comrades, enjoy your extra sugar cube rations for the winter because I will be heaping huge tax increases on you and your families soon after.”

Comrade Brown, indeed, is riding high up in the polls which are of course controlled by the central Stasi Office of Information in Whitehall. The people are very happy with his leadership and yesterday in Red Trafalgar Square a parade was held in his honour.

Resistance is Futile

There is even more good news, comrades. In Eurasia, just east of sector 23, Bolshevik army commanders have secured the area and will be leaving soon to fight in sector 12 where the New Age of Change has to be instated immediately.

Any dissent or thoughtcrimes within the New Age of Change will be punishable with a minimum imprisonment of at least 42 years.

Long Live Comrade Brown! INGSOCK NOTICE: B23654

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

7 COMMENTS

  1. Gord has condemned England to the biggest downturn in its history…thank you for that you Scotch bastard!!!!

  2. Bring on the Euro!!
    First and foremost we are human beings. Our first allegiance should be towards unity and the common goals of humanity, instead of the petty things that divide us! Joining the Euro will be a great step towards a united Europe and ultimately a united humanity. We need to stop being so damned selfish and introspective, and look toward a better future for all of humanity. This would benefit both us and the rest of Europe, especially in the current financial climate. We need to let go of our misguided notions of superiority, and humbly accept that we as people should be working towards a united future.

  3. Brown’s got nothing to lose. He’s simply employing a scorched earth policy that will affect many generations of Britons and condemn them to even more poverty and debt.

  4. Brown knows he’s on the way out so he’s fixing a few things for the next people who are in charge the Tories are going to be fucked when they get in Gordon’s having fun ruining as much as he can before he’s finally ousted

  5. ..well he sold all of Britains gold reserves at the bottom of the market so i wouldn’t put it past him..ol’ McBroon sure has it in for England…

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!