Unknown 'Celebrity' Wins Another Reality Show

CANBERRA - Australia - An unknown celebrity won first place in another episode of a reality TV show.

It was another win for an unknown celebrity who no one knows about on another brainless reality show designed to showcase unknown celebrities.

The huge audience was urged to phone in and vote for the celebrity and at £4.50 per second the show’s producers brought in huge revenue for their already bloated salaries.

“Yes, we had another unknown celebrity win from another bunch of has-been unknown celebrities who are trying to kick-start their comatose celebrity careers. This unknown celebrity can now eek out another 30 seconds of their two minutes of fame and will probably fizzle out after a few advertising companies use their unknown faces for a few commercials,” Larry Silverstein of Mike Hunt Entertainment told ITV1 news.

There are now so many celebrities inundating the media that it is at times hard to even know who any of them are. With large quantity comes loss of quality, and with the celebrities we have massing around reality shows and garish vulgar dance competitions, one would only think that they resemble bluebottle flies massing round a large steaming turd ripe from the ar*e of a brainless, unimaginative, greed-driven TV executive.

Mr Silverstein had this to say about the gawking viewership: “This is what the dumbed-down British audiences want. They are given utter moronic crap to digest into their maggot addled skull cavities as they are graced with brainless celebrity nonsense and they lap it all up without question. This is the reality. We have brainwashed audiences clamoring for more Big Brother, Jungle, Strictly Come, X factor, vapid low-grade diarrhoea that wreaks of banal fetid vulgarity and the Labour-sanctioned mantra of “Education, education, education”.

Indeed, living in Labour’s Britain is very bad for the soul, what with the daily threat of being stabbed through the eyeball with a six inch knife whilst walking down the street by a crazed teenage thug or being made destitute from the enormous taxes heaped on everything; or how about freezing in your negative equitied mortgage hell unheated hovel with a mouldy piece of bread for dinner and a bucket of gruel to keep you company.

Well, don’t fret, at least there are the celebrity reality shows on every channel to cheer you the f*ck up.