George Osborne: “Next Stop Quadruple Dip”

LONDON - England - The Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, is delighted to inform the British people that he intends to go for a quadruple dip recession after this triple dip one we're all about to go through.

“I have these amazing ideas, and this morning when I heard the wonderful news that our economy will now enter a triple dip recession, I thought why stop there? Why not a quadruple dip after that?” the Chancellor told the BBC.

So what would a quadruple dip recession be like?

Economist, Louis Horatio has a few ideas: “The quadruple dip recession would be very much like the third, second and first dip but with a little more severity. You know, like you just had three successive cardiac arrests and the fourth really gets you. You’re still barely alive and half of your face and body is now paralysed, you may last another few weeks after the fourth, but if you’re in an overcrowded NHS ward, not likely.”