Oops I can't Sell My £5 Million Property Anymore

LONDON - England - George Osborne's new property tax budget has effectively trapped those who went and bought a million pound property because now no one will want to buy them because of the inhibitive property taxes at a whopping 15%.

“You may have thought Britain was a safe haven for the rich who splashed out on multi-million pound properties, but now a huge trap has been set by the chancellor which will inhibit all high end property sales in England and Wales to such a level that it will kill off the property market as a whole. Remember that money trickles down, and those who are very rich stimulated property markets with their large purchases. Not anymore, they are now royally screwed with no way out of their property hell,” a Chelsea estate agent told the BBC.

In the last decade there has also been a huge influx of foreign buyers into the luxury housing market who saw Britain as a safe haven from irregular regimes and high taxation. Those people are now trapped with multi-million pound properties and no one to buy them.

“No one in their right mind would buy these properties anymore. Who would pay £1.8 million in stamp duty taxation to buy an overpriced cupboard in Chelsea? You’d have to be clinically insane, either that or f*cking stupid,” another estate agent quipped.

Already many property companies are laying off staff and any rich people who were considering coming to the UK have scratched their plans.

The Chancellor made the new taxation ruling effective from midnight when he announced his budget on Wednesday, so this did not give any time for those who own large properties to sell up.

“We need more money to pay for all the chavs and hoodies, who suck up a third of the UK’s budget in welfare costs. Step up to the plate you rich ar*es, you’re now trapped,” Mr Osborne said in the House of Commons yesterday.