Stephen Hawking is now probably lost somewhere in space
LONDON – England – Police fear the worst for astrophysicist Stephen Hawking after his disappearance last night from his home.
Eyewitnesses report seeing a bright white light and a saucer-like craft hovering over the East London property. Mr Hawking’s neighbours say they saw Mr Hawking being pulled up by a retractor beam into the belly of the craft which then started spinning before shooting off into space at supersonic speed.
The alien space
ship was witnessed by many residents and all descriptions have been
submitted to the Ministry of Defence for further investigation.
“By heck, I was just having me evening supper of crab cakes and chips when this god almighty flash happened outside our kitchen window. I told my wife Maureen to hop it and get out the camera because those bloody aliens were about again,” Reggie Carbunkle, 67, told the Times.
John Charles de Menacing, Chief coordinator of the department responsible for investigating unidentified flying objects, told the Telegraph: “From the witness statements we have acquired, we have reason to believe that Mr Hawking was taken up by an alien craft from another world. We think that the computer Mr Hawking uses to communicate with people somehow malfunctioned and contacted the aliens, thus leading to his abduction.”
The world of science was mourning the great loss of the acclaimed astrophysicist today and urged the aliens to bring Mr Hawking back to earth so that he could continue with his astounding scientific theorems.